How to Control Emotions of Anger in Marriage.


The famous religious philosopher Buddha once said, “Do not return Anger with Anger; instead, control your emotions. That is what is meant by diligence.”

As you and your spouse may know, angry outbursts, feelings, and anger issues can harm your relationship if not managed properly. Your spouse’s anger management issues and uncontrolled Anger suck your energy and patience. Anger unchecked in marriage can erode the foundation that once held up a healthy partnership. However, if you learn to control this primal human emotion, you and your partner can have a real-life together filled with joy. Here are a few tips to help you and your spouse live a fulfilled and happy life! 

Take a deep breath and relax.

Sometimes it can feel impossible to deal with people with anger issues. You may try to control your partner when they have an outburst of Anger, and they may become more defensive or retaliate with a rude comment. It is never recommended to return emotions of Anger with more rage. It is like trying to put out a fire with gasoline. It is advised to leave the situation and allow your partner to calm down and relax. 

This method will allow you to de-escalate the situation and avoid any more negative feelings towards her partner. The main goal of de-escalating difficult situations is to reduce their emotions of Anger and act with increased love towards their partner.

Be assertive and patient.

The assertion is not as harmful as it sounds. It is being assertive means that you take a position where you can share your wants and desires directly with your partner respectfully while considering their feelings. When communicating assertively with your partner, you must be confident and open. Being assertive will also inspire your partner to open up with you. Being strong is very important because it can help you avoid dangerous situations of physical abuse, emotional abuse, and other mental health issues. Seek professional advice on how being assertive can help you and your partner control the anger issues in your relationship.

Actively listen and understand your partner’s emotions of Anger.

The emotions of Anger are often evoked in people because they do not feel like they are being taken seriously or even heard. Rage can intensify feelings of loneliness and disappointment that erupt as an angry outburst. Married life and adult life have challenges. If you want to prevent your partner’s Anger and avoid stressful situations, listening closely to what your partner has to say is recommended. Active listening will make them feel validated and heard by their significant other. This will help calm down an already tense situation. Listening carefully to your partner is more than hearing their words. It would help to listen to the emotions underneath what they are saying. Try to understand their wants, needs, and desires. Validate what they say is how we communicate, accept what they say, and understand their feelings. Remembering that this does not mean you have to agree with everything they say is important. Instead, it recognizes that your partner has a different perspective. When you are present, connecting to what they are saying is vital to validating your partner’s viewpoint. This should be done respectfully and compassionately to avoid further conflict with a partner with anger issues.

Show Compassion and Patience

Emotions of anger are a very complex issue. Angry people may use their anger attacks as a shield from letting out their primary emotions. The expression of rage makes the person feel strong and in charge. Other emotions, such as fear, loneliness, or sadness, typically are hidden underneath angry behavior. This coping mechanism may seem ideal for a person with excessive anger, but it will harm them in the long run. Partners with anger in marriage should seek a mental health professional or anger management counseling to find new ways to cope with their rage. We must have love and understanding toward words when partners struggle to control their anger.

Patience can act as a cure for emotions of anger for themselves and their partners. Patience requires you to be calm and collected when expressions of anger arise. Patience can serve as the antidote to rage within yourself and your partner. It entails being wise the moment rage emerges. You may have to bite your tongue or avoid automatic reactions to your partner’s anger. Patience and compassion are keystones to a cooperative and happy marriage.

Learn which battles are worth arguing over

Picking your battles means you may lose some of them; however, you will win the war if you choose wisely. Picking your fights may seem like you are a general in the Army sending your soldiers out to battle; however, it applies to relationships, especially ones with chronic anger. They did not waste supplies, human resources, and energy in a conflict with no chance of victory. Similarly, we are all different and hold different values and beliefs. Like a general picking which battle to lose and which to win, you must exercise restraint in your marriage and focus on the actions you can win.

You can always fight about topics with your partner; however, it is better and wiser to choose which arguments to have and which ideas matter the least to you and your partner. It is not smart or intelligent to fight over every difference you may have with your significant other. It would never benefit you and may erode a once-strong relationship. 

Please call 911 if you are experiencing a medical emergency or call our admissions department for support at (801) 499-9316

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