First developed in the 1990s, the study of betrayal trauma has regained popularity, receiving attention for the unique psychological impact trauma has on attachment and mental health. It’s the emotional harm caused by trusted individuals, such as caregivers during childhood, or a spouse, or institutions such as schools or workplaces.
Betrayal trauma can impact self-esteem, making it hard to form attachments, regulate emotions, and feel safe in your own body without dissociating. Read on to learn more about the roots of betrayal trauma and how to heal from it.
What is Betrayal Trauma?
Betrayal trauma describes the emotional impact that someone experiences when their trust has been violated or they have been betrayed, either by people (e.g., spouse) or institutions (e.g., work) that play significant roles in their life. It is not a mental health diagnosis, but rather a model for understanding how violations of trust impact our emotional and psychological health.
Betrayal Trauma Theory and Social Contracts
Betrayal trauma theory was introduced in 1994 by psychologist Jennifer Freyd. Her book, Betrayal Trauma: The Logic of Forgetting Childhood Abuse, suggests that people may suppress or dissociate memories of abuse or mistreatment to maintain essential relationships with caregivers, partners, or trusted institutions. Freyd draws on the studies of social contracts to explain how and why we detect “betrayals” [2].
Social contracts provide a framework for relationships, outlining expected behavior, boundaries, trust levels, and obligations between individuals, groups, or organizations. They are often an unspoken, implicit agreement that arises from shared norms and culture. When one side violates this social contract, it signals to the brain that there has been betrayal and there could be a threat [3].
Freyd argues that in some cases, detecting betrayals is counterproductive to survival, such as in the case where a child is dependent on their caregiver. This can cause the victim to experience emotional blindness, numbness, and dissociation from the betrayal that is occurring.
This is also a common dynamic with domestic abuse victims who struggle to leave, as they may be “blind” or unable to acknowledge their own abuse out of fear of safety or survival [1].
Causes of Betrayal Trauma
Betrayal trauma is caused by any person or institution an individual puts trust in or relies on for physical or emotional safety. Some of the most common occurrences of betrayal trauma happen in these contexts.
Childhood Abuse or Neglect
Clinical psychologist Sabrina Romanoff noted, “This type of trauma often relates to primary attachment figures like a parent, caregiver, or other important relationship from childhood. In adulthood, it tends to show up in romantic partners.”, [4].
Betrayal trauma is not limited to childhood, but it’s a common theme among adults who suffer from complex trauma or attachment-related issues. Experiencing abuse or neglect from a caregiver as a child is a form of betrayal and can lead to lifelong problems with feeling safe, the ability to trust, build relationships, and self-regulate [5].
Romantic Relationships
Betrayal trauma is common in relationships where infidelity, or physical, emotional, or financial abuse is taking place. These behaviors often breach the agreed-upon trust and boundaries of the partnership.
People suffering from betrayal trauma in romantic relationships may remain in them due to concerns of safety, financial dependency, social stigma, and emotional attachment, despite the betrayal. This can affect self-esteem and the ability to form future secure attachments[6].
Institutional Betrayal
When a system or organization fails to protect individuals in cases of mistreatment such as abuse, neglect, or discrimination, this can cause collective trauma, disrupting the sense of safety in communities and reducing trust in social systems.
Examples include, the justice system dismissing reports of domestic violence, elderly abuse in nursing care homes, and cover-ups of sexual abuse in political administrations or religious organizations [7].
Signs of Betrayal Trauma in Adults
Key signs of betrayal trauma in adults include:
- Avoiding processing their emotions. Ex: Numbing emotions with substance abuse.
- Normalizing unhealthy behaviors. Ex: “He’s just really stressed from work, he didn’t mean to hurt me.”
- Blaming themselves. Ex: “I can be a lot to handle.”
- Fabricating, in some cases, where the brain may fabricate fantasies or false memories to cope with or replace painful ones.
The Impact of Betrayal Trauma
Individuals exposed to the betrayal trauma of abuse in childhood are three to six times more likely to experience intimate partner violence in adulthood [8]. Betrayal trauma during childhood resulting from an attachment figure can cause children to grow up unconsciously seeking out relationships that violate their needs or boundaries.
Individual betrayal trauma can also increase the risk of struggling with:
- PTSD
- Depression
- Anxiety
- Dissociation
- Chronic pain and gastrointestinal issues
- Substance abuse
- Self-harm and suicidal ideation
Institutional betrayal trauma can impact entire societies by eroding the public’s trust in social, governmental, or religious systems. Institutions that either fail to protect or actively harm those who depend on them for safety through corruption, coverups, discrimination, or neglect can increase collective feelings of betrayal trauma [7].
Coping With Betrayal Trauma and Healing Attachment Wounds
Betrayal trauma can be incredibly painful, but there are ways to cope. Trauma-informed treatment options can also help you heal. Some ways to cope with betrayal trauma, move forward in relationships, and improve your emotional well-being include:
- Acknowledge the betrayal and let yourself feel the pain, anger, sadness, grief, and regret. Think about the impact of the betrayal on the relationship and how it has affected your life.
- Write down how you are feeling and try to keep a daily log, to help you identify emotions instead of suppressing them.
- Be mindful of patterns and recognize if you are unconsciously repeating unhealthy behaviors from previous relationships in the present.
- Set firm boundaries if the person who has betrayed you is still in your life.
- Professional treatment, such as trauma therapy or a support group, can be a great place to start addressing the causes of the betrayal trauma and related mental health challenges like Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), anxiety, or depression.
Trauma-Informed Care at Maple Mountain: Begin Healing Today
At Maple Mountain Mental Health and Wellness, we are committed to following the principles of trauma-informed care to address the physical, mental, and spiritual needs of our clients. Healing doesn’t just mean symptom management; it involves mental processing and somatic integration.
Our PTSD and complex trauma inpatient treatment combines evidence-based therapies, including EMDR, Accelerated Resolution Therapy, and Somatic Experience, with integrated wellness activities such as ceramics, painting, dance, and trauma-informed yoga. We work with you to address the impacts of betrayal trauma and achieve lasting emotional growth and well-being.
Contact our admissions team today to regain control and begin your healing journey.
Sources
[1] Gagnon, K. et al. 2017. Victim–perpetrator dynamics through the lens of betrayal trauma theory. Journal of Trauma and Dissociation.
[2] Freyd, J. What is a Betrayal Trauma? What is Betrayal Trauma Theory?. University of Oregon.
[3] Straeten, K. et al. (2021). Evaluating social contract theory in the light of evolutionary social science. Evolutionary human sciences, 3, e20.
[4] Gupta, S. 2023. Betrayal Trauma—The Impact of Being Betrayed. VeryWell Mind.
[5] DePrince, P. et al. (2012). Childhood betrayal trauma, and self-blame appraisals among survivors of intimate partner abuse. Journal of trauma & dissociation: the official journal of the International Society for the Study of Dissociation (ISSD), 13(5), 526–538.
[6] Gobin R. et al. (2012). Partner preferences among survivors of betrayal trauma. Journal of trauma & dissociation: the official journal of the International Society for the Study of Dissociation (ISSD), 13(2), 152–174.
[7] DePrince, A. P. (2024). When Institutions Harm Those Who Depend on Them: A Scoping Review of Institutional Betrayal. Trauma, violence & abuse, 25(4), 2797–2813.